Cullenalympics
by Bexxii Cullen
Summary: The Cullens play all your favourite party games. Very out of character, but still very fun. First off, Truth or Dare!
1. Chapter 1

"Cullens!" boomed Emmett.

We all jumped and looked at Emmett who sat cross-legged on the lounge room floor. Emmett looked around, proud. Alice and Jasper were laying on the sofa, Rosalie was sitting in front of Edward's piano and Edward and I were on the loveseat. Carlisle and Esme were in the next room.

"And Swan," Emmett said, gesturing to me, then he raised his voice again, "Truth or dare!"

Everyone winced. I looked around nervously at their pained faces.

"Should I be worried?" I asked Edward.

"No," he said, "Don't worry. You're not playing. Our truth or dare games tend to be very dangerous,"

"Oh you're such a party pooper, Eduardo," Emmett said, poking out his tongue, "We'll go easy on her,"

It took some convincing but everyone agreed to play. Well, except for Carlisle and Esme but nobody messed with Carlisle when he put his foot down. We all sat in a circle on the floor. Everyone still looked tortured. I found it rather amusing until Emmett turned on me.

"Isabella Swan," he said in a devilish voice, "Truth or dare?"

I gulped, "Uh… truth?"

Emmett opened his mouth to deliver my fate, but Jasper scoffed and muttered, "Humans…"

I turned on him and raised my eyebrows, "Shut it, mood ring,"

He raised his eyebrows too, "Are you calling me unreliable?"

"No, I'm calling you cheap,"

There was a murmur of appreciation through the group.

"Bring it on, tampon!"

"You wish, jellyfish!"

"Go die, crazy pie!"

"TOO FAR, RED CAR!"

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T!"

"Jasper!" Edward growled as Jasper went to stand up.

"Sorry," Jasper mumbled.

I poked my tongue at him.

"Are you done?" Emmett asked impatiently, "Right. Bella. If you could date anyone in the Cullen family EXCEPT Edward, who would it be?"

I bit my lip, thinking. Emmett looked amused as I squirmed.

"Alice," I said, finally.

She beamed at me. The group laughed.

"What can I say, we've got chemistry," I said, shrugging.

"Alright Bella, your turn," Emmett said.

"Um…" I looked around the group, then decided, "Emmett,"

He grinned wickedly, "Dare. Bring it,"

I thought for a moment.

"Alright… I dare you to call up Eric Yorkie and confess Edward's undying love for him,"

"WHAT?" Edward cried, looking at me.

I laughed, so did Emmett.

The phone was on speaker. We all sat around it, even Carlisle and Esme came to listen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Eric, it's Emmett Cullen here,"

"Oh, uh, hi Emmett,"

"How's it going, dude?"

"Uh, good… thanks…"

"So anyway, have you heard that Bella and Edward broke up?"

"REALLY?"

"Yeah, tragic, really,"

"Uh hem, uh, yes, it's… terrible,"

"So actually I'm talking for Edward. See, he broke up with Bella because he actually loves somebody else,"

"Uh, really?" Eric sounded nervous.

"Yep. He wanted me to tell you that he has a thing for you,"

"…""Take your time,"

"…" Suddenly, Eric started laughing.

"Is something comical?"

"It's you, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You're the one who likes me! Oh, I knew it! Oh, Emmett, I love you too. We don't have to hide anymore. We can be together forever!"

Emmett looked horrified. I snickered. I knew it would backfire on him. Edward grinned appreciatively at me. Emmett slammed the phone down. We all burst out laughing.

"Shut up," growled Emmett, "Jasper, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Jasper replied through chuckles.

"I dare you to make out with Bella,"

"Eh?"

"You heard,"

Jasper, Alice, Edward and I all looked at Emmett angrily.

"No way," we said in unison.

"Dare is a dare. Rule number one, and the only rule in Cullen truth or dare is you must do every dare,"

"Fine," I said.

They all looked at me.

"Really?" asked Emmett disbelievingly.

"Yep. But one condition. You guys have to get out. I don't want Edward or Alice seeing,"

They all looked at me sceptically, but left the room one by one. Edward and Alice looked scandalised.

Jasper and I were alone.

"I guess we should get it over with," Jasper said.

"OH JASPER!" I said suddenly, louder than I should've.

"What?" hissed Jasper.

"Oh yeah, Jasper!" I moaned. He caught on.

"Oh Bella!"

"Jasper!"

"Bella!"

"TAKE ME NOW!"

"Bring it,"

"Oh Jasper, don't put your hand in there!"

"You know you like it baby,"

The door burst open and they all leapt in. Jasper and I burst out laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

"Truth or dare?"

"No, Emmett," I said, bored.

"Yes,"

"No,"

"Aw,"

"All aboard the QQ train,"

"Bully,"

"You know it,"

"Truth or dare?"

"NO,"

"I. AM. SO. BORED!" Alice cried, running into the room wearing a dress that suited the opera or something.

"What are you wearing?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.

"Ew, Bella. I know we have chemistry, but come on!" Alice said.

"Grow up," I replied.

"For your information, Isabella, I'm BORED,"

"I'm so bored I could eat Lauren Mallory…"

"What the hell, Jasper?" Emmett cried, "I know your bored but I mean, come on!"

"Yes, I'm THAT bored," Jasper confirmed.

"You're crazy, emo man," I said.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT EMO PUNS?" Jasper exploded.

"But you're making it so easy,"

"I'm… sniff… not EMO," Jasper said sadly, "You guys are so mean!"

"LOLOLOLOLOLOL,"

"What was that, Bella?" Edward asked, surprised.

"My roflcopter! It goes SOISOISOISOISOI!"

"YOU STOLE THAT OFF THAT YOUTUBE VIDEO!" Emmett accused, "And it doesn't make any sense,"

"Neither does your face,"

"STOP IT!"

"WTF Rosalie?"

"Jeez you guys, are we really THIS bored? Let's play a game," Rosalie said.

"TRUTH OR-"

"NO!"

"Aw…"

"Somebody call the waambulance!"

"Swish!" Alice said.

"Wow Bella, you're full of witty retorts today," said Edward in a particularly gay voice.

"Will you guys speed it up, you're using half a page of game time!" the writer growled.

"Sorry,"

"Ok, let's play that game where we pass around a piece of paper and the first person writes a name then folds it over then the next person writes an action and the next writes a name and the next writes where they did it and the next who saw them and then the next writes what they said,"

"Take a breath, Alice," I offered.

"Thanks," panted Alice.

"THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ANY SENSE," screamed a rabid fan (foaming at the mouth rabid).

"Screw you," Alice said.

_Jasper_, I wrote. I folded the paper over and handed it to Edward. He wrote a something, folded it over and handed it to Alice. It went around the room until everyone had written something. It came back to me and I looked around.

"This is it," I said, "The moment of truth. The earth-shattering, ground breaking, turn of the century, once in a lifetime, absolutely uber hella awesome like as awesome as armadillos, destiny changing moment of total hilarity,"

"JUST OPEN THE PAPER, SWAN!"

"Go cut yourself, Jasper,"

"WAA,"

"SOISOISOISOI,""Swish,"

--------------------------

_Jasper_

_----------------------------_

_Eloped With_

_----------------------------_

_Mike Newton_

_----------------------------_

_In your mom's house_

_----------------------------_

_Watched by Edward_

_----------------------------_

_Who said, "JEALOUS"_

_----------------------------_

"NOT FUNNY EMMETT!" Edward growled, "You can't change everyone's answers,"

"Uh… actually, Edward, that's what we all wrote," I said timidly.

"I HATE YOU ALL," Edward cried, running out.

"Who's the emo one now?" Jasper shouted."Uh, no, Jasper, that would be a mirror you're looking at," I said.

"Swish,""Shut up, Alice,"


End file.
